Everyday Rituals

What do you do?

What do you do for fun, and where do you do it? I know that one answer is that you read this blog, and that’s probably done at your office when you should be working. But what else? Are you a web developer? A financial advisor? A real-estate agent? An equestrian? A Golfer? A Philanthropist or a Cigar Aficionado? Or did you just happen to win the lottery?

I have a number of hobbies, but I have an unusual curse. Like my grandfather and father before me, my brain has been cross-wired to associate work with play, and play with work.  Here is an example of that curse that you all, may have had at some point in your careers, crossed the same path.

Mixing Work and Leisure

At the end of the workday, some of your fellow colleagues head out the door together, perhaps for dinner, drinks, or even a movie.  They used to invite you, but you had either family activities or night school after work, and declined repeatedly.  They were only your colleagues, after all, and you had friends of your own to hang out with.  But now you’re wondering if that was such a good idea in the long run.  The group e-mails often refer to technical solutions they came up with during the course of a few drinks, and you’re starting to feel increasingly isolated from the group’s problem solving process.

Many technical professionals face this and similar problems.  It’s especially the case in a fast-paced technology environment, where hard work and tight deadlines often bring teams together for long periods of time of intense effort.  The lines between work and leisure blur, leading to more work being done outside the traditional office environment.

Of course, the problem can go both ways.  You may be very interested in fostering and participating in activities with your colleagues outside of work, only to find that they go their separate ways at 5:00 PM.

So it seems that it's a damned if you 'do', or damned if you 'don't' scenario where only you know how it winds up after you take the bait to play.  At times, you are at conflicts with making that decision to participate or to not get involved.

And if that’s the case, why should you care about whether and how much those around you socialize with each other?  First, it may have something to do with how much you enjoy your job.  If your socialization goals are substantially different than that of your colleagues, then there’s a good chance you’ll be unhappy or dissatisfied with your job, no matter how good the technical work is.  If your social goals are similar to that of the corporate culture, you’ll simply have more fun and fit in better.  If not, you may feel like an outsider, even after months or years on the job.

Second, it may affect your ability to do your job, or how you’re perceived about performing in your job.  If you head off to your family or to night school at the end of the workday, you may find that your managers question your commitment to the project, and your colleagues may start relying less upon your contributions because you’re not there when some critical decisions are being made.

What can you do?

Only you can gauge your interest in socializing with your colleagues.  You may enjoy meeting after hours or on weekends with your colleagues, especially if you’re young and have similar interests.  In other cases, you may have a full life outside of work, involved in family, friends, or the community.  Even if you don’t have the same social needs as your fellow colleagues, you may be comfortable with your job and with being different socially.

Personally, if there’s a way to make something work-like or relaxation-like, I’ll almost always choose work. Well, at least I do look forward to the company holiday party.

Share your own personal everyday rituals, no matter how absurd you think they are. 'Till next time...